LDA's - The Healing Journey

Below is a framework I've developed, based on conversations with LDA's and from my own experience. This maps the repetitive cycle of the LDA post discovery. The journey begins with Discovery, Floating and Confrontation; followed by Isolation, Exposure, Identity Confusion, and Trauma Awareness; next is Reaching Out and Gradual Recovery and Integration. Many LDA's find that discovery affects all aspects of their internal and external world. For most, the initial discovery is just the first of many discoveries as they search to piece together their story. Many re-cycle through parts of this journey with each additional discovery along the way. Scroll down for a more detailed description of each stage.

The Healing Journey - A Framework

Discovery

Beginning with the initial adoption discovery, and continuing with each new piece of information learned.

"Floating"

Emotional response: shock, denial, sadness, anger, betrayal, fear, grief, relief, overwhelm, numbing, confusion, isolation, PTSD.

Confrontation

Confronting family members and others involved. Learning to manage personal boundaries becomes paramount. Often visited repeatedly as the LDA processes and learns more.

Isolation

Feelings of disconnection from self and others. Discovering that most people cannot relate, and do not know how to be supportive.

Exposure

Feelings of vulnerability and risk-taking when sharing adoption story with friends, family members, and others.

Trauma Awareness

Trauma symptoms may affect ones ability to function normally; anxiety, shaking, overwhelming emotional and physical sensations of numbing.

Identity Confusion

Review of childhood memories. Creating a new identity; possibly changing ones name. Questioning: Who am I? What does this mean? What is my story? How do I make sense of this?

Reaching Out

LDA's seek support through: therapy, support groups, online, and meeting other LDA's and adoptees. It's common for LDA's to learn more about trauma, PTSD, adoption, family dynamics, self-care, and communication. Many consider or follow through with searching for and reuniting with bio-family members; and processing the outcome which could include loss in cases of death or rejection. Many feel a desire to share their story in an effort to support others.

Gradual Integration and Recovery

LDA's gradually make sense of new information and are able to integrate such into their newly developing sense of self. Eventually growing in their ability to share their story with others; re-building selective trust. Re-gaining their internal connection with their intuition and faith. Acceptance of new-self, including ones limitations and increased need for ongoing self-care. Thoughtfully considering ways to honor oneself and possibly mark the adoption event.

Based in Vancouver Island, BC. I'm a Master Therapeutic Counsellor, author, studio artist and potter.

I work with DBT, Expressive Art and Play, Nature Therapy, Internal Family Systems, and Mindfullness.

I am a wife, and mother to two amazing people. Each of whom has had a journey with neurodiversity. Raising them has taught me much about how to support them, and encouraged me to specialize in their demographic.

Therapy is offered in-person and online.

As someone who found out they were adopted later in life, I am also a Late Discovery Adoptee. I offer support online to other adoptees and LDA's via my website www.latediscoveryadoptees.com.

Meaghan Carriere MTC

Port Alberni, BC

250 735 4099